Project proposal

I have been very lost with my work so far and wanted to create something quite personal and I have never really planned my paintings too much or thought that I could add meaning to my work, I suffer from a disease which not only physically can make me ill but many don't realise it also affects me psychologically at times I can suffer from depression, anxiety, frustration and isolation. However wanting to overcome these I tend to always put on a front in front of people and try and act as though everything is normal and talk as I normally do where as I am suffering inside. For me the idea of telling the world how I am really feeling inside foe me is a very bold and brave thing to do as I worry about being rejected or even people feeling differently about me and whenever I have talked about how I have felt before I seem to always be dismissed but I have now found a new way to talk via art work which tends to have a form of release without question or dismissal, however before deciding what I want paint exactly I researched other artists work to see their taken on depression or anxiety.

This painting by Emanuele Ronco which is one of ten of an exhibition called Battling Inner Demons that I found on My Modern Net  I find is too literal and gives too much information to the viewer rather than the viewer digging deeper into painting to figure out its true meaning.

However this painting by Michael Borreman has such a powerful take on anxiety, so beautifully painted and so delicate, I find also the title of the piece, 'the nude' is so important to the success of the painting too. This style of painting I am more drawn to because I question Borreman's work a lot more, from the way its lay out to the portrait he has in front of me as well.

With Borreman as my starting point of my project I propose my paintings to be a basis of human portraiture which is a big hurdle for me as I have never painted a person before but I also want the project to run away with me and find out things along the way and maybe even not end up with the desired image and maybe even come out with a completely new take on the project, I find these elements to be really exciting as not only the fact I haven't painted a person before this a chance to be able to create a new style of paint technique  as I learn how to paint skill, will it be light appliance  heavy appliance  I have no idea, the whole idea of painting a person is so alien to me which is so exciting because not only is the new imagery going to be alien the experience I am going through everyday is also very alien to me as I have been diagnosed less than a year now.